We all want to be noticed, heard, appreciated for our unique perspective, and recognized for our contribution. We want to have influence in our world, albeit for different reasons. When we speak we want it to matter.
There are many factors that go into having influence. Some people have influence because they have power, money, or status. They may not deserve the influence they have based on their character, but the fact is they have it because of what they can affect by what they command, buy, or seduce from others. While this type of influence is exerted every day, those upon whom it is exerted are never happy or at peace with it. They want to gain influence of their own so their story can be heard, their perspective attended to, and to feel valued, important.
Moral influence is a different and sustaining influence for the good of all persons involved. It is birthed in integrity, trustworthiness, competence, sacrifice, and commitment. Spiritually intelligent people seek this type of influence and resist giving in to influence that only satisfies a small group at the expense of others. They have empathy and compassion for all people involved and seek win-win-win solutions for all parties. Their influence is spent on improving the welfare of all being affected by a situation. Only a caring and compassionate influence is healthy for all people.
To gain the type of influence that people really respect for the right reasons, you need to be a person of good moral character, care for others, sacrifice for the whole, get your needs met while respecting the needs of others and helping them get their needs met too. You need to speak to them where they are, accepting them just as they are in the moment, empathizing mentally and emotionally with them so you can know what it is like to be in their shoes as best you can. Speak to them on their level, about their concerns, showing understanding and compassion, while offering hope.
Speaking with influence is a matter of the heart. EQ and SQ are intelligences that deal with the heart and seek to benefit others. You have influence with people who believe you have their best interest at heart. If you only stay in your head trying to figure out how to manipulate and persuade people to do what you want for your own selfish benefit, then you will not have real influence and your deeds are not making the world a better place for humankind. Over time, those who lead with head and heart beat the competition who only lead with the head. Open your heart and spirit to gain influence that is both emotionally and spiritually intelligent.